Summary of past month

I am half-way done with my internship and I can't believe it! As I look back over my journal entries I see God revealing Himself to me in ways I was not expecting. God allowed me to be present in various situations that I had no clue I would be placed in- through the journal entries you see my gut response. I can't say all my responses are right, actually I know they aren't. I am a stubborn person who tends to use absolutes, e.g. all men are lazy beings. I am not claiming to be perfect or always right but I am honest. I won't sugar-coat my feelings, they're real-good and bad. I pray you will see a girl who loves God and is trying her best to follow Him with all her heart. I do want to say that everything I am learning is due to God but also those God used to send me here- thank you to everyone who either supported me financially and/or who are praying for me through the duration of this internship. I can't express my gratitude enough!
There are a few prayer requests I have had on my heart and thought I'd share: I covet your prayers!

1. Have unity with the team-we would continue to work well together and be able to encourage one another
2. Boldness, 1 Timothy 1:7 keeps coming to mind, "I did not give you a spirit of fear but of power, and love, and self-control."
3. Tangible ways to serve. That I can meet needs with compassion and love.
4. I desire to be a blessing to my team, the missionary family, and the Maasai but the past month I have felt more of a burden than anything else. Maybe I won't see my life being used to impact someone in a huge way while here but pray that my time and energy spent is not for myself but others.

Thanks you!
I am so excited to see what God shows me this next month! "I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13-14

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Olkoroi

I wanted to quickly summarize a few journal entries but didn't want to go as in-depth as my last few posts.

Journal entry 6-25-10

Me and MB had the opportunity to travel to a few medical clinics in Kenya to help assist the doctors there. I love traveling so 2-3 hour car ride is enjoyable, even though we are traveling on the worst roads ever. One of the clinics we went to was in Olkoroi. I assisted Dr James, a national who lives and works in Ewaso N'giro, with vitals, book work and physical exams. We saw mainly pregnant women who were 13-20 years of age. All of the women were married except one. I think pregnant women by far are the most beautiful creatures ever...call me weird, I don't care! Dr James taught me how to estimate the age of the baby and the position just by feeling the mother's stomach-so cool! I was also able to give my first immunization to a little 11 year old girl, right in her butt-poor thing! We saw around 120 patients and didn't stop for lunch- it was exhausting but really beneficial day. Busy days-it's how I role! A few patients stuck out to me that day so I will quickly share a two of them with you:

1. Our very first patient was a mother who had 4 children and was 7 months pregnant. As the doctor was showing me how to examine the mother, another doctor entered and said something in and proceeded to pick something off the floor. As I turned around, I noticed that the mothers child was lying flat, face planted to the floor. I found out that her 5yr old daughter had epilepsy and had seizure while we were examining her mother. I felt so bad, we didn't even hear her collapse. Her seizure got worse and I had to help hold her arm while the doctor injected her with medicine. the seizure stopped and I asked when she would wake up and the doctor said around 45 mins-the mom flung the child on her back and headed home. I am so impressed with the mothers out here, they are so tough. We have seen around 10 patients with epilepsy since being here, not sure why it is so common, but it is.

2. A mother came in with her 1 year old baby who had been sick and was on antibiotics for the past two weeks but the child was not getting better so she brought her back in. The baby started to fuss and the mother began to nurse her to calm her down-we sent the infant for HIV testing, it came back positive. The mother was told the outcome and was given counseling right on the spot. Since the baby caught the disease we knew that the mother must have given it to her child, but to make sure we tested her for HIV testing as well, it also came back positive. How devastating! The mother not only found out her baby had this terrible disease but she was the one who gave it to her child. Was the mother unfaithful or her husband? I can't imagine getting such bad news.

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A near-death experience

Journal Entry 6-30-10 and 7-1-10

I was hooked up to an IV for the day after being sick;
 my team members kept checking in on me the duration of the day.

I never understood when people said they had a near-death experience due to sickness, I know exactly what they mean now. I am writing while hooked up to an IV in my room. I woke up early this morning around 1:15am and was sick till 8am. It was the worst experience of my life, I haven't been so sick! Around 6:45am, once everything was out of my system, my body decided that I needed to puke but there was nothing left so I had dry heaves-I'm pretty sure I puked up some sort of lining from my intestines. Ha! I remember praying, "God, just take me now..." I laugh about it now but was really serious at the time. We are not sure what happened but I was treated for a parasite and given electrolytes due to dehydration. I've never had an IV before. My veins are tiny=I was poked a total of 3 times on one hand and 4 times on the other before we got the liquids flowing. My hands are bruised. Ouch! I was taken off the IV and parasite meds around noon but 10 mins afterwards I puked again-everything came back up. I was not able to hold anything down, it was bad. I was hooked up again and wasn't taken off of the IV till midnight. I was well taken care of though-the entire clinic came to me. I had a pastor come and pray over me, 2 doctors checked in on me and a nurse was constantly stopping by. People cared and it made me feel loved. Food sounded gross but I forced myself to eat a little soup and some rice. I was craving applesauce so bad-but there is no such thing in Kenya. Ugh!

I was able to wash up the next morning-there is something wonderful about washing yourself after being in a bed for an entire day. I was so happy to change into clean clothes, body spray myself, brush teeth and put on some lipstick-the little things in life. Ha! We left for Nairobi, after lunch- took a taxi for 2 hours. I was nervous since I was just sick and did not want to get sick while in transit-that would've been bad. We made it and will be spending the weekend with our host missionary family-they have real showers (warm water) and toilets that flush. I am so psyched! The missionary family took us out to a nice restaurant for dinner they had all you could eat ribs...I had soup. Not even funny.

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Faithfulness

Journal Entry 6-24-10
One of my favorite activities to do in the evening is to listen to podcasts of sermons-Mark Driscoll, John Piper, and John Weece are some of my favorite/the only ones we have on our iPods. We listened to a sermon on suffering by Mark Driscoll-his advice on suffering: It's not that it won't be heavy but God's love is heavier. It's not that it isn't bad or hard but there are worse things out there.

I want to share two of my favorite passages that I read that evening:

9)And Stephen, full of grace and power, was doing great wonders and signs among the people 16) And gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like that of an angel 55) But he full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. And he said, "Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God."But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together at him. Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him. 59) And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord do not hold this sin against them." And when he said this he fell asleep.
-Acts 7

When I read Acts 7 chills cover my body. I can't imagine being Stephen in that situation. In the beginning of his speech he must have pleased his Jewish audience by presenting a view of history from the Jewish perspective. He mentioned their famous ancestors such as: Abraham, Joseph, Moses, and David-but then he laid it on them, and attacked the Jewish establishment. Stephen compared their treatment of Jesus with earlier Jewish rejection of God's messengers. He ended the speech by calling them traitors and murderers- 51"You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Was there ever a prophet your fathers did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you who have betrayed and murdered him-you who have received the law that was put into effect by angels but have not obeyed it." And because of his boldness of Truth they killed him. 57"They covered their ears and yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, charged him out of the city and began to stone him."
And because of this? 8:1"On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea an Samaria." The church still faces much opposition and persecution-men and women around the world are willing to sacrifice it all for their faith.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego answered and said to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up. -Daniel 3:16-18

I am so impressed with Daniel's three friends-the quality of their faith is later commended in Hebrews 11. These three guys were willing to face the consequences whether or not God rescued them. I don't believe the Sunday School version of this story ever emphasized this severe test of faith- because God came through and miraculously they were saved, yet these men had no clue that God was going to save them. They were willing to sacrifice their lives whether God saved them or not. I also loved how quick their response is, I know I would've responded-"Give me a few days to pray and I'll get back to you...k?" These men knew what God expected from them and fully trusted Him.


I am in awe of their faith every time I read the passages. It is so convicting yet encouraging-they were willing to risk it all for God. I desire a faith like these men-no matter the cost. They gave their lives and Christ calls me to give mine. A commentary sums up True Faith: God does not guarantee a life of luxury and ease. It is tough faith: a constant commitment to hang on and believe God against all odds, no matter what.

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Another day

Girls don't have much hope
for their future.

Journal Entry 6-24-10

I did not feel like working today-I had a terrible attitude! I had a quiet time and made sure to say a prayer before heading off this morning, otherwise I wouldn't have made it through. I didn't want my attitude to rob me of what God was trying to show me. Me and MB headed over to the clinic around 9:15am. We helped Jake (the water guy) test a few more tanks and the nearby river. In the afternoon we were able to sit in on an HIV counseling session. They really wanted me and MB to lead it but I was too nervous-what could I say to a group of individuals who just found out they have such a deadly disease? We sat in the group and just listened. While I was sitting there I noticed a young mother who had a 4 month old little girl-as she was listening she started to nurse her child. If a woman has HIV while she is pregnant it does not mean her infant will contract the disease but if the mother breast feeds her baby the percentage of the child getting the disease increases significantly. As I watched this young woman nourish her baby my instinct was to grab the child away. I asked one of the staff members as to why the mother was nursing instead of using formula, the individual gave this response: "Mothers are informed of how easily HIV can be passed to their babies, the reasons why they continue to breastfeed: a) Formula is expensive and they don't have the funds b) Breastfeeding is so much part of the culture that women feel guilty not personally nourishing their child or c) Because the woman is not breastfeeding the surrounding people will come to the conclusion that she has HIV and could be ostracized. What a heart wrenching response! How could a mother know about the disease and yet be willing to inflict it on her baby? I don't understand. I can't imagine the dilemma that mother is put in.

Women are caged beings to the oppression they face each day-
but the forgotten will become free one day!

I ended up talking with Jake about FGM over chai and cake after our work day. Jake works for CMF helping with water testing and treatment and also works with HIV patients. Jake is married with 5 little kids. He loves God, his family and the work he does. Jake also started an organization to keep girls in school. In the Maasai culture it is very common for girls to be taken out of school at around 14 and be married off to an older man. This is mainly due to lack of money to pay for school-uniform, textbooks and boarding. He said that if girls were kept in school and educated past secondary school they had a better chance of getting a job and working and maybe pursuing a college degree. Education is key. It reduces the rate of FGM, HIV transmission, early marriages, and many early pregnancies. "Conservatives, who have presumed that the key to preventing AIDS is abstinence-only education, and liberals, who have focused on distribution of condoms should both note that the intervention that has tested most cost-effective in Africa is neither." (Half The Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide). This organization finds girls whose parents can't afford school fees and intercede before the parents marry their child off-it costs $500 per year to keep the child in school. Jake had me meet 14 year old girl, Ester, who needs someone to pay for her schooling otherwise her father will have her married off. The girl is too much of a burden on the family. While talking to Ester I found out that her favorite classes are chemistry and physics-she hopes to become a doctor. She also loves playing football. She is such a sweet girl. It would be a 4yr commitment. A commitment that would change this girls life forever.

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A quick note

Journal Entry- 6-23-10

I received a letter from another intern today, it's funny how God's timing works. At the end of the encouraging letter was a scripture passage that has been of immense help-I thought I'd share.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
-Colossians 3:12-17

This scripture has been my motto while I've been out here-it puts my attitude in check.

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Kenyan surgery

Wow! I have so much to post...we are in Nairobi for the weekend so I'll be able to post journal entries from the past week. God is teaching me so much and I'm trying my best to take it all in. Here it goes!

Journal Entry 6-23-10
Me and MB stayed on the compound and went around to the various water tanks to test each of them...we have to wait 48 hrs for the results. In the afternoon we were encouraged to see an outpatient surgery. We were pushed into a tiny room were we stood in a corner with no gowns or protective gear whatsoever. A petite woman of 27 entered the room, slid her shoes off and hopped onto the table. She layed back, hands above her head, body trembling. The surgeons told her not to be scared and proceeded to clean her abdomen. The woman was injected with an anesthetic over the area where she was to be cut. A scapel was slid across her belly seconds after the injection, the woman grimaced in pain. I didn't realize what type of surgery we were watching until the surgeon had cut through her stomach and pulled out her Fallopian tube and showed it to us. I wanted to puke! The woman was going through surgery because she didn't want to have any more children. The surgeon tied both her tubes and used one stitch to sew her up. As the woman was going through the procedure the surgeons were laughing and calling her a coward because she kept flinching. I felt horrible. This poor woman was going through surgery awake and in pain and instead of the surgeons giving moral support and encouragement they belittled her! It broke my heart watching the procedure. Even though I was furious with the surgeons I was more upset at myself. I wish I would've held that woman's hand. I wished I would've prayed for instead I just watched. I regret not helping and being some sort of encouragement. Ugh!
Another part I hate admitting...I'm so embarrassed to write this-I had no clue what type of procedure we would see, once I saw the woman's stomach cut open and her eyes roll to the back of head I knew I should step out. I started sweating profusely and my head started to hurt-I told MB that I needed to leave as I was heading out I collapsed. I felt like I was being sucked into a twister-a neon yellow and green twister to be exact. Ha! I thought I was daydreaming but wasn't. As I regained consciousness I could hear voices but couldn't see anything. I found myself to be in the corner of the room on the floor. MB was beside me holding my hand, "I never saw anyone black-out before," was the first thing she said." Luckily, a doctor who was watching the procedure caught me, otherwise I would've had a concussion with a few stitches to my head. I recovered and was able to watch the other procedures.
Me and MB returned to our home in shock by what we witnessed this afternoon. We still can't get over the lack of sanitation and physical/emotional care a patient receives. We came home discussed, cried and prayed.

Satan is revealing and using my fears to undermine my faith: being unloved, and being mistreated physically and emotionally-are so present in this culture. I don't necessarily desire equality between men and women in every area but I do desire respect and love. These women are human beings who need encouragement. They need to be told that they are loved and not only told but showed through actions. I get so angry by the lack of genuine care. There is no such thing here. I hear God telling me, "Vengence is mine, Anna." "My love is steadfast, it never ceases." (Lam. 3:22) "Cast your anxieties on Me, for I care for you." (1Peter 5:7) I want these truths to ring clear in my mind.

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