Final Post-Sad Day!

I have wanted to put up one final post since returning back to the states but whenever I tried to get around to writing something I just didn't have the time to sit down and write. It's funny how you get back to the states and the busyness of life hits you hard! I was looking back over my journal entries the first few weeks of being home and it wasn't good-I had journaled about being angry, irritable and getting into frequent fights with people. Isn't that such a wonderful testimony of someone returning from a two month mission trip? Ha! I guess it was good for people to see that I was still human and that I'm not some perfect person, but I did have to frequently humble myself and apologize for my attittude, it hasn't been fun.

I have tried my best to process what I've learned from this experience but it takes time. This summer was probably the most difficult two months for me. I felt God was revealing all of my weaknesses and it was humbling. I was faced with numerous discouragments throughout the trip but felt that God was giving me a glimpse of what it would be like if I went into full time ministry. Being a missionary is not always exciting or glamorous, or some fun adventure. It's tough, frustrating and humbling. Yes, there are amazing moments and in the end the sacrifice is worth it but it's a big decision. Am I glad I went? Of course! I grew so much from this experience and was stretched in more ways than I can count. I felt God kept reminding me of his Truth from the scipture in 1 Peter 5:10, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." I believe God has strengthened and established me in my faith due to this summer.
The question I was asked the most (especially by my parents) is, "So, what are your future plans?" I don't know why people love that question so much but they do and it's hard to answer because my answer is not what they truly want to hear. To be very honest I am confused about my college degree and want to take more time off from school but what parent really wants to hear that? How can someone who is a "people pleaser," tell those who she cares about that I don't know exactly where God is leading me? I journaled about the thought of taking more time off from school a few weeks ago, "I am stressed because I know I am not living up to the expectations that are set before me. I have concluded though that I will never be able to meet those expectations and have failed miserably trying to please those certain individuals. I am tired of doing that and am just trying to deal with a correct attitude response." I found that God is again calling me to surrender my dreams and goals and it's scary because I am letting go of a specific direction and I'm not in control. As Ravi Zacharias said, "To allow God to be God we must follow him for who he is and what he intends, and not for what we want or what we prefer." And Francis Chan states, "The goal is to learn to live faithfully today." I am trying my best to continue to learn to trust God and what he has planned for my future but it never comes easily.
I think one of the biggest challenges in returning from a mission trip is to know how to apply what you learned to everyday life here in the states. I definitely saw the needs of the women while working with the Maasai and have decided to lead another women's lifegroup in my college ministry. I want to see young women become compassionate toward their sisters who are facing oppression worldwide and am excited to see how God will empower them to serve in various ways, either here or overseas. I also plan on being involved with a few other ministry opportunities but am waiting to see where God leads.

I just finished reading Mark Batterson's book, "Wild Goose Chase," and in one section he discusses how people in the Old Testament often built altars to God, he states, "Altars help us remember what God doesn't want us to forget." and "We need altars that renew our faith by reminding us of the faithfulness of God." Mark posed a great question by asking, "I wonder if Peter ever rowed out to that spot on the Sea of Galilee where he walked on water. Did Zacchaeus ever take his grandchildren back to climb the sycamore tree where he caught his first glimpse of Jesus? Did Lazarus ever revisit the tomb where he was buried for four days? Did Paul ever ride out to the mile marker on the road to Damascus where God knocked him off his high horse? Did Abraham ever take Isaac back to Mount Moriah, where God provided a ram in the thicket? And I wonder if Moses ever returned to the burning bush, took off his sandals, and thanked God for interrupting the forty-year routine of his life by giving him a second chance to make a difference."
I thought about that question for a very long time and I liked what he was getting at. I believe God uses trips and situations to get us out of our routine and help us see Him with new eyes. I don't know if God will have me go back to work with the Maasai in Kenya but I have memories, jounal entries, and numerous pictures that will always remind me of what I learned from this summer. I am so thankful for being able to have such an eye-opening experience and I pray that I won't grow numb to what I saw but will continue to 'express my faith through love' (Gal. 5:6), no matter where I may be. That is my prayer for my life.

I guess this ends my blog....for now.....until next time!

I am so happy to be back home with my pup. :-)

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Safari photos!

We spent our last few days on a safari in the game park before heading back home to the sates. We saw a variety of animals from: Lions, Hippos, Cheetah, Monkeys, Zebra, Giraffe, Elephants, Wildebeest, Hyena, Gazelle,  and much more!

Tree

The best way to go on a Safari-
feet out the window

Wildebeest
(we saw the migration)

Giraffe

Sleepy Lion

Stampede!

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Pictures...again!

Me and MB with Dr. James

Our team plus the medical team.

Me and Mama Grace
She was the best!

Me and my little friends-they loved
the sunglasses I gave them. It was great!

We spent the 4th of July weekend with the

Nairobi team.

I love these guys!

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More Pictures!

Maasai wedding we were able to witness-we are
here with the groom and best man plus his friends/family.

Maasai men performing a traditional dance

Maasai Women

Isn't he adorable?

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Pictures!

I wanted to share a few more pics from the summer....some just didn't fit in with the blog. Enjoy!

Children from Talek

In Narok buying groceries

Typical food: Chapati, Secuma, Ugali and Beef stew

A child we visited at a village

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Water Testing In The Mara

The past two days we traveled to 3 places, Endonyo Erinka, Aitong, and Mara Rianta to take water samples from the rivers and tanks that the clinics and communities get their water from. We got to drive through the game park on our way to the destinations and we were able to see elephants. I was so excited-there were 4 adult elephants with 3 little babies. I really wanted to see elephants before we left, we couldn't stay for too long as one of the adults came towards us with his trunk raised....so we had to leave. Bummer!

The kids showed us where they got
their water supply from...yes, it was contaminated.

Water testing

I'm watching 4 missionary children tomorrow and have some packing and cleaning to do before we head out on Saturday for our safari. We will head to Nairobi on Monday and will leave on our flight home around 11pm, Tuesday evening. I am excited to get back with the other teams from CMF, I'm thankful we'll have a few days to catch up and talk during debrief before I head back to Iowa. Wow, time flies!

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Amusing Experiences

Two funny things have happened and I'll just give a quick update.

1. MB was heading to the outhouse late one night and as she opened the door to the toilet and a snake slithered out. The snake really didn't want to move from in front of the door so we threw a rock at it and it went away. I got a can of bug killer spray and sprayed the outside and inside of the toilet....it has to help a little, right? MB was rather scared by the poisonous little thing and really didn't want to venture out there again. I told her to use the bathtub to pee in, she thought that was so funny-I thought it was very practical and safe. I would so do it. Ha! She didn't take me up on the idea so instead I stood guard with a flashlight outside the toilet keeping an eye out for the snake. It never came and we haven't seen it since!

Mary had us stay in
her boma for a night.

2. We had the opportunity to sleep in a boma, a traditional Maasai mud/dung house one evening. I was not extremely excited about our chance but thought it would be an experience. We had dinner with the woman and talked to her about her livestock, children and husband. When it was time to sleep we were showed to our tiny room, me and MB had to share a very small bed. I woke up every hour because I felt little bugs crawling on me the entire night. I was also afraid that the bug net was going to suffocate us...it was not doing the job properly and kept falling on us. It was an eventful night, we took a few videos of us throughout the evening-we were laughing so hard of this awful and very painful experience (I will post some video on my fb wall when I return...be ready!)

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Till The Stars Appear

So, I have one week left and this past week there has not been much for us to do-so very frustrating. I hate slow days because I get bored really easily. I was able to convince one of my teammates and an intern from Ghana to go on a walk at night....we were out too late and the intern got in trouble. Ugh! I'm dying staying in one place and not being able to go and explore. Since being out here I've realized how independent I really am. I am looking forward to going off to places on my own once back home.
I don't have much else to share....sorry!

As I've said before I've read many books while out here, and I just finished a book on Amy Carmichael who was a missionary to India. She wrote a poem that I really wanted to share.

MAKE US THY LABOURERS,
LET US NOT DREAM OF EVER LOOKING BACK,
LET NOT OUR KNEES BE FEEBLE, HANDS BE SLACK,
O MAKE US STRONG TO LABOUR, STRONG TO BEAR,
FROM THE RISING OF THE MORNING TILL THE STARS APPEAR.

MAKE US THY WARRIORS,
ON WHOM THOU CANST DEFEND TO STAND THE BRUNT
OF ANY PERILOUS CHARGE ON ANY FRONT,
GIVE TO US SKILL TO HANDLE SWORD AND SPEAR
FROM THE RISING OF THE MORNING TILL THE STARS APPEAR.

NOT FAR FROM US, THOSE STARS,
UNSEEN AS ANGELS AND YET LOOKING THROUGH
THE QUIET AIR, THE DAY'S TRANSPARENT BLUE.
WHAT SHALL WE KNOW, AND FEEL, AND SEE, AND HEAR
WHEN THE SUNSET COLOURS KINDLE AND THE STARS APPEAR?

-AMY CARMICHAEL

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Tenwek

Journal Entry 7-13-10

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Visiting Tenwek Hospital

Today we left for Tenwek, we got to see the hospital here and it was amazing! We had to wait for around 30mins for a Doctor to show us around the facilities. He came and told us the history of the hospital and shared some of his experiences working; he was a great man. As we were walking around I was thinking if I could be able to work in a setting such as this-it would take some transitioning but I think I could adjust. The hospital is one of the best clinics around and they have so many wards compared to all the other places. The hospital really encourages praying with each of the patients, there motto is: "We Treat, Jesus Heals." Each doctor and nurse does the best they can do in treating the patients but sometimes all the best medicine and knowledge are still not enough. The doctor explained to us that this is a compassion hospital, "We don't just take care of their physical needs but there spiritual as well." "We prepare individuals for heaven while working here," said the doctor.

"We Treat, Jesus Heals"

The boys grabbed lunch while me and MB headed out to the yard to journal. While we were waiting for the guys to finish up a young boy who was sunning himself next to his father on the grass came over to us. The father kept redirecting his frail and sick son away from us, the father assumed we didn't want anything to do with his child. He was wrong. I noticed this boy a few times throughout our tour of the hospital and I wondered what sickness he had. I motioned for the boy to come over and sit next to us and he marched on over. His father started laughing and took a seat next to his son.The boy was extremely malnourished and had sores around his mouth and neck. The boy was so content in sitting next to me, it was great! I wanted to communicate so bad with this boy and his father but because of the language difference we couldn't. Luckily, a random man stopped by who knew English and he was able to translate a little of the boys story for us. The man told us that the boy was 8 yrs old (he looked as if he was 4 yrs of age) and had been at Tenwek hospital for an entire year. All he could say about his condition was that he had stomach problems and was not able to eat for some period of time before his admittance. This poor child looked like he was in so much pain-luckily, they said he had improved immensely since being at the hospital. Thank goodness!

We got to hike down to their waterfall which generates all of their electricity, I was glad for the chance to be outside around trees and water. It was my highlight for the week.

Some kids we found while hiking to the waterfall-
They loved holding our hands while we walked.

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The Death of a Chaco

7-09-10
I have the saddest story to tell-
Me and MB walked into town to purchase a few items and when we got back my feet were caked with dirt, filthy! I decided to soak/wash my feet and after they were clean I proceeded to wash my chacos. As I was placing my sandals outside to dry I had a vision of something happening to them- I shrugged the thought off and went back inside to read. A few hours later I was heading to the outhouse and as I was passed my sandals on the way out I noticed one of them was missing, I became frantic. I saw a dog nearby and marched in that direction. On my way over I found my chaco, the back strap chewed all the way through. I was pissed. As I picked up my sandal the dog came over and started growling. I waved my sandal at her and shouted, "Bad Dog!" I wanted to hit the dog but thought I shouldn't...I hurried back inside before the dog wanted to chew through me. When I got back inside I started doing some deep breathing and pacing-thoughts of, "What will I do for the next 2 1/2 weeks in Africa?" "I really don't want to start the homeschool trend of tennis shoes and skirts." After a few minutes I collected myself and grabbed for the tape and proceeded to tape the straps together...I don't know how long it will last because of all of the dirt but hopefully it will get me back to the states.
When I told my story to the team they laughed a little too hard in my opinion. I am trying my best to be positive but it has been hard. I'm learning lots out here. Ha!
After the ordeal me and MB made a veggie lasagna with homemade rolls. I have decided that anyone can cook in the states, the real test is cooking in another country. I'm getting better at my baking/cooking skills but the food never looks appealing. I'm all for presentation....at least it taste goods....kinda. Ha!

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3 days

Since returning to the bush I have tried my best to adjust again to bucket baths and an outhouse....it's not bad but I'm missing the little luxuries of running water.

7-06-10
I was in the lab observing some tech guys taking blood and testing patients for various diseases. It has been really good to watch and ask many questions about their way of testing. Two patients that came in was a 4 yr old boy and his 7 yr old sister. There was an older woman who accompanied them, she seemed to really care for the kids. I was so impressed at the kids for not crying and making a huge fuss while they were drawing the blood. I found out that the children were orphans, both their parents had died from AIDS and both of them were dealing with the disease. I can't imagine the pain they must be going through. They are so young and facing some huge struggles and they have much more to face. I hate hearing stories such as that and be able to do anything, I have continued to pray about them and the many other children who are suffering through the exact same thing.
Each of us has extra money to spend on a "special project," there is no program for HIV kids set up at the clinic yet. I would love to spend my money on these kids but I am still praying as to what should be the best and most productive area to put the money towards.

7-07-10
Today I joined another team in going to a girl's school and teaching about sex education. This culture doesn't talk or educate on sex (not saying the states does a good job but at least it is discussed a little more). There were around 150 girls present and all of them new about condoms but were not educated about them at all. The team goes out and teaches on abstinence but they also talk on the use of condoms. I was thankful. In my opinion having sex is not something you can control. Most of the girls are either bribed for sex by male teachers in exchange for good grades, some have been raped, and some have sex because they want to. In this culture women don't have any rights and are told or forced to do many things, education is crucial for them to not to get pregnant or contract an STD. The team offers a yearly course to every school they attend, they encourage the school to administer the program to further educate the children. I was impressed by the course and was glad to be part of it. I had so many girls ask me, "condoms are safe, right? I won't get an STD or get pregnant if I use one, right?" We answered as many questions as we could. After our 6 hr session I was wondering how many girls were feeling overwhelmed by the information we were giving out or how many of them felt guilty from past decisions or rapes. The families don't talk on this topic and the schools aren't being educated on this....who provides moral support and counseling for these girls? I was really sad to find out all of this and am still figuring everything out.

7-08-10
Me and Josh went on another mobile clinic...we saw more pregnant women and babies. It was good. While out there we met another team of Americans, they were in Kenya for two months working in the schools. They slept in tents the entire time, I can't imagine! I really have it good. Ha! I love meeting new people and seeing/hearing how God is working through them. It was great.

"Do I really dare to let God be to me all that He say He will be?"

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Good Reminder

I've been reading Oswald Chamber's My Utmost For His Highest every morning and I love how God allows you to read something at just the right time. I read this a few weeks ago but I thought I'd share anyways.

"He is a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief." Isaiah 53:3

We are not "acquainted with grief" in the same way our Lord was acquainted with it. We endure it and live through it, but we do not become intimate with it. At the beginning of our lives we do not bring ourselves to the point of dealing with the reality of sin. We look at life through the eyes of reason and say that if a person will control his instincts, and educate himself, he can produce a life that will slowly evolve into the life of God. But as we continue on through life, we find the presence of something which we have not yet taken into account, namely, sin- and it upsets all of our thinking and our plans. Sin has made the foundation of our thinking unpredictable, uncontrollable, and irrational.
We have to recognize that sin is a fact of life, not just a shortcoming. Sin is blatant mutiny against God, and either sin or God must die in my life. The New Testament brings us right down to one issue- if sin rules in me, God's life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. There is nothing more fundamental than that. The culmination of sin was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and what was true in the history of God on earth will also be true in your history and in mine-that is, sin will kill the life of God in us. We must mentally bring ourselves to terms with this fact of sin. It is the only explanation why Jesus Christ came to earth, and it is the explanation of the grief and sorrow of life.

I keep re-reading this section-it's a great reminder. Sin is still present. It has been and will continue to be until Jesus Christ returns. Sin is seen in my life, the Maasai, my family, in the states-it's everywhere! God demands that I strive to be pure and virtuous even though sin is present. "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God." I am not some special person created in heaven, but a sinner saved by grace.

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Summary of past month

I am half-way done with my internship and I can't believe it! As I look back over my journal entries I see God revealing Himself to me in ways I was not expecting. God allowed me to be present in various situations that I had no clue I would be placed in- through the journal entries you see my gut response. I can't say all my responses are right, actually I know they aren't. I am a stubborn person who tends to use absolutes, e.g. all men are lazy beings. I am not claiming to be perfect or always right but I am honest. I won't sugar-coat my feelings, they're real-good and bad. I pray you will see a girl who loves God and is trying her best to follow Him with all her heart. I do want to say that everything I am learning is due to God but also those God used to send me here- thank you to everyone who either supported me financially and/or who are praying for me through the duration of this internship. I can't express my gratitude enough!
There are a few prayer requests I have had on my heart and thought I'd share: I covet your prayers!

1. Have unity with the team-we would continue to work well together and be able to encourage one another
2. Boldness, 1 Timothy 1:7 keeps coming to mind, "I did not give you a spirit of fear but of power, and love, and self-control."
3. Tangible ways to serve. That I can meet needs with compassion and love.
4. I desire to be a blessing to my team, the missionary family, and the Maasai but the past month I have felt more of a burden than anything else. Maybe I won't see my life being used to impact someone in a huge way while here but pray that my time and energy spent is not for myself but others.

Thanks you!
I am so excited to see what God shows me this next month! "I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13-14

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Olkoroi

I wanted to quickly summarize a few journal entries but didn't want to go as in-depth as my last few posts.

Journal entry 6-25-10

Me and MB had the opportunity to travel to a few medical clinics in Kenya to help assist the doctors there. I love traveling so 2-3 hour car ride is enjoyable, even though we are traveling on the worst roads ever. One of the clinics we went to was in Olkoroi. I assisted Dr James, a national who lives and works in Ewaso N'giro, with vitals, book work and physical exams. We saw mainly pregnant women who were 13-20 years of age. All of the women were married except one. I think pregnant women by far are the most beautiful creatures ever...call me weird, I don't care! Dr James taught me how to estimate the age of the baby and the position just by feeling the mother's stomach-so cool! I was also able to give my first immunization to a little 11 year old girl, right in her butt-poor thing! We saw around 120 patients and didn't stop for lunch- it was exhausting but really beneficial day. Busy days-it's how I role! A few patients stuck out to me that day so I will quickly share a two of them with you:

1. Our very first patient was a mother who had 4 children and was 7 months pregnant. As the doctor was showing me how to examine the mother, another doctor entered and said something in and proceeded to pick something off the floor. As I turned around, I noticed that the mothers child was lying flat, face planted to the floor. I found out that her 5yr old daughter had epilepsy and had seizure while we were examining her mother. I felt so bad, we didn't even hear her collapse. Her seizure got worse and I had to help hold her arm while the doctor injected her with medicine. the seizure stopped and I asked when she would wake up and the doctor said around 45 mins-the mom flung the child on her back and headed home. I am so impressed with the mothers out here, they are so tough. We have seen around 10 patients with epilepsy since being here, not sure why it is so common, but it is.

2. A mother came in with her 1 year old baby who had been sick and was on antibiotics for the past two weeks but the child was not getting better so she brought her back in. The baby started to fuss and the mother began to nurse her to calm her down-we sent the infant for HIV testing, it came back positive. The mother was told the outcome and was given counseling right on the spot. Since the baby caught the disease we knew that the mother must have given it to her child, but to make sure we tested her for HIV testing as well, it also came back positive. How devastating! The mother not only found out her baby had this terrible disease but she was the one who gave it to her child. Was the mother unfaithful or her husband? I can't imagine getting such bad news.

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A near-death experience

Journal Entry 6-30-10 and 7-1-10

I was hooked up to an IV for the day after being sick;
 my team members kept checking in on me the duration of the day.

I never understood when people said they had a near-death experience due to sickness, I know exactly what they mean now. I am writing while hooked up to an IV in my room. I woke up early this morning around 1:15am and was sick till 8am. It was the worst experience of my life, I haven't been so sick! Around 6:45am, once everything was out of my system, my body decided that I needed to puke but there was nothing left so I had dry heaves-I'm pretty sure I puked up some sort of lining from my intestines. Ha! I remember praying, "God, just take me now..." I laugh about it now but was really serious at the time. We are not sure what happened but I was treated for a parasite and given electrolytes due to dehydration. I've never had an IV before. My veins are tiny=I was poked a total of 3 times on one hand and 4 times on the other before we got the liquids flowing. My hands are bruised. Ouch! I was taken off the IV and parasite meds around noon but 10 mins afterwards I puked again-everything came back up. I was not able to hold anything down, it was bad. I was hooked up again and wasn't taken off of the IV till midnight. I was well taken care of though-the entire clinic came to me. I had a pastor come and pray over me, 2 doctors checked in on me and a nurse was constantly stopping by. People cared and it made me feel loved. Food sounded gross but I forced myself to eat a little soup and some rice. I was craving applesauce so bad-but there is no such thing in Kenya. Ugh!

I was able to wash up the next morning-there is something wonderful about washing yourself after being in a bed for an entire day. I was so happy to change into clean clothes, body spray myself, brush teeth and put on some lipstick-the little things in life. Ha! We left for Nairobi, after lunch- took a taxi for 2 hours. I was nervous since I was just sick and did not want to get sick while in transit-that would've been bad. We made it and will be spending the weekend with our host missionary family-they have real showers (warm water) and toilets that flush. I am so psyched! The missionary family took us out to a nice restaurant for dinner they had all you could eat ribs...I had soup. Not even funny.

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Faithfulness

Journal Entry 6-24-10
One of my favorite activities to do in the evening is to listen to podcasts of sermons-Mark Driscoll, John Piper, and John Weece are some of my favorite/the only ones we have on our iPods. We listened to a sermon on suffering by Mark Driscoll-his advice on suffering: It's not that it won't be heavy but God's love is heavier. It's not that it isn't bad or hard but there are worse things out there.

I want to share two of my favorite passages that I read that evening:

9)And Stephen, full of grace and power, was doing great wonders and signs among the people 16) And gazing at him, all who sat in the council saw that his face was like that of an angel 55) But he full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. And he said, "Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God."But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together at him. Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him. 59) And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord do not hold this sin against them." And when he said this he fell asleep.
-Acts 7

When I read Acts 7 chills cover my body. I can't imagine being Stephen in that situation. In the beginning of his speech he must have pleased his Jewish audience by presenting a view of history from the Jewish perspective. He mentioned their famous ancestors such as: Abraham, Joseph, Moses, and David-but then he laid it on them, and attacked the Jewish establishment. Stephen compared their treatment of Jesus with earlier Jewish rejection of God's messengers. He ended the speech by calling them traitors and murderers- 51"You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears! You are just like your fathers: You always resist the Holy Spirit! Was there ever a prophet your fathers did not persecute? They even killed those who predicted the coming of the Righteous One. And now you who have betrayed and murdered him-you who have received the law that was put into effect by angels but have not obeyed it." And because of his boldness of Truth they killed him. 57"They covered their ears and yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, charged him out of the city and began to stone him."
And because of this? 8:1"On that day a great persecution broke out against the church at Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea an Samaria." The church still faces much opposition and persecution-men and women around the world are willing to sacrifice it all for their faith.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego answered and said to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up. -Daniel 3:16-18

I am so impressed with Daniel's three friends-the quality of their faith is later commended in Hebrews 11. These three guys were willing to face the consequences whether or not God rescued them. I don't believe the Sunday School version of this story ever emphasized this severe test of faith- because God came through and miraculously they were saved, yet these men had no clue that God was going to save them. They were willing to sacrifice their lives whether God saved them or not. I also loved how quick their response is, I know I would've responded-"Give me a few days to pray and I'll get back to you...k?" These men knew what God expected from them and fully trusted Him.


I am in awe of their faith every time I read the passages. It is so convicting yet encouraging-they were willing to risk it all for God. I desire a faith like these men-no matter the cost. They gave their lives and Christ calls me to give mine. A commentary sums up True Faith: God does not guarantee a life of luxury and ease. It is tough faith: a constant commitment to hang on and believe God against all odds, no matter what.

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Another day

Girls don't have much hope
for their future.

Journal Entry 6-24-10

I did not feel like working today-I had a terrible attitude! I had a quiet time and made sure to say a prayer before heading off this morning, otherwise I wouldn't have made it through. I didn't want my attitude to rob me of what God was trying to show me. Me and MB headed over to the clinic around 9:15am. We helped Jake (the water guy) test a few more tanks and the nearby river. In the afternoon we were able to sit in on an HIV counseling session. They really wanted me and MB to lead it but I was too nervous-what could I say to a group of individuals who just found out they have such a deadly disease? We sat in the group and just listened. While I was sitting there I noticed a young mother who had a 4 month old little girl-as she was listening she started to nurse her child. If a woman has HIV while she is pregnant it does not mean her infant will contract the disease but if the mother breast feeds her baby the percentage of the child getting the disease increases significantly. As I watched this young woman nourish her baby my instinct was to grab the child away. I asked one of the staff members as to why the mother was nursing instead of using formula, the individual gave this response: "Mothers are informed of how easily HIV can be passed to their babies, the reasons why they continue to breastfeed: a) Formula is expensive and they don't have the funds b) Breastfeeding is so much part of the culture that women feel guilty not personally nourishing their child or c) Because the woman is not breastfeeding the surrounding people will come to the conclusion that she has HIV and could be ostracized. What a heart wrenching response! How could a mother know about the disease and yet be willing to inflict it on her baby? I don't understand. I can't imagine the dilemma that mother is put in.

Women are caged beings to the oppression they face each day-
but the forgotten will become free one day!

I ended up talking with Jake about FGM over chai and cake after our work day. Jake works for CMF helping with water testing and treatment and also works with HIV patients. Jake is married with 5 little kids. He loves God, his family and the work he does. Jake also started an organization to keep girls in school. In the Maasai culture it is very common for girls to be taken out of school at around 14 and be married off to an older man. This is mainly due to lack of money to pay for school-uniform, textbooks and boarding. He said that if girls were kept in school and educated past secondary school they had a better chance of getting a job and working and maybe pursuing a college degree. Education is key. It reduces the rate of FGM, HIV transmission, early marriages, and many early pregnancies. "Conservatives, who have presumed that the key to preventing AIDS is abstinence-only education, and liberals, who have focused on distribution of condoms should both note that the intervention that has tested most cost-effective in Africa is neither." (Half The Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide). This organization finds girls whose parents can't afford school fees and intercede before the parents marry their child off-it costs $500 per year to keep the child in school. Jake had me meet 14 year old girl, Ester, who needs someone to pay for her schooling otherwise her father will have her married off. The girl is too much of a burden on the family. While talking to Ester I found out that her favorite classes are chemistry and physics-she hopes to become a doctor. She also loves playing football. She is such a sweet girl. It would be a 4yr commitment. A commitment that would change this girls life forever.

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A quick note

Journal Entry- 6-23-10

I received a letter from another intern today, it's funny how God's timing works. At the end of the encouraging letter was a scripture passage that has been of immense help-I thought I'd share.

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
-Colossians 3:12-17

This scripture has been my motto while I've been out here-it puts my attitude in check.

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Kenyan surgery

Wow! I have so much to post...we are in Nairobi for the weekend so I'll be able to post journal entries from the past week. God is teaching me so much and I'm trying my best to take it all in. Here it goes!

Journal Entry 6-23-10
Me and MB stayed on the compound and went around to the various water tanks to test each of them...we have to wait 48 hrs for the results. In the afternoon we were encouraged to see an outpatient surgery. We were pushed into a tiny room were we stood in a corner with no gowns or protective gear whatsoever. A petite woman of 27 entered the room, slid her shoes off and hopped onto the table. She layed back, hands above her head, body trembling. The surgeons told her not to be scared and proceeded to clean her abdomen. The woman was injected with an anesthetic over the area where she was to be cut. A scapel was slid across her belly seconds after the injection, the woman grimaced in pain. I didn't realize what type of surgery we were watching until the surgeon had cut through her stomach and pulled out her Fallopian tube and showed it to us. I wanted to puke! The woman was going through surgery because she didn't want to have any more children. The surgeon tied both her tubes and used one stitch to sew her up. As the woman was going through the procedure the surgeons were laughing and calling her a coward because she kept flinching. I felt horrible. This poor woman was going through surgery awake and in pain and instead of the surgeons giving moral support and encouragement they belittled her! It broke my heart watching the procedure. Even though I was furious with the surgeons I was more upset at myself. I wish I would've held that woman's hand. I wished I would've prayed for instead I just watched. I regret not helping and being some sort of encouragement. Ugh!
Another part I hate admitting...I'm so embarrassed to write this-I had no clue what type of procedure we would see, once I saw the woman's stomach cut open and her eyes roll to the back of head I knew I should step out. I started sweating profusely and my head started to hurt-I told MB that I needed to leave as I was heading out I collapsed. I felt like I was being sucked into a twister-a neon yellow and green twister to be exact. Ha! I thought I was daydreaming but wasn't. As I regained consciousness I could hear voices but couldn't see anything. I found myself to be in the corner of the room on the floor. MB was beside me holding my hand, "I never saw anyone black-out before," was the first thing she said." Luckily, a doctor who was watching the procedure caught me, otherwise I would've had a concussion with a few stitches to my head. I recovered and was able to watch the other procedures.
Me and MB returned to our home in shock by what we witnessed this afternoon. We still can't get over the lack of sanitation and physical/emotional care a patient receives. We came home discussed, cried and prayed.

Satan is revealing and using my fears to undermine my faith: being unloved, and being mistreated physically and emotionally-are so present in this culture. I don't necessarily desire equality between men and women in every area but I do desire respect and love. These women are human beings who need encouragement. They need to be told that they are loved and not only told but showed through actions. I get so angry by the lack of genuine care. There is no such thing here. I hear God telling me, "Vengence is mine, Anna." "My love is steadfast, it never ceases." (Lam. 3:22) "Cast your anxieties on Me, for I care for you." (1Peter 5:7) I want these truths to ring clear in my mind.

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Sick!

Hey Everyone!
I’m working in another medical clinic and we just started on testing some water in the tanks and surrounding villages today. It’s been a very interesting process. I stayed back from the team yesterday due to sickness. I’m not sure how I was able to have a fever and aches since I’ve been on antibiotics for my bite but somehow I got sick. I think I slept for around 24hrs. Ha!
Last Sunday me and MB went on a 3 hr walk down random dirt roads, it was nice to have a long girl talk. While walking we saw a baby zebra with its mom while the sun was setting. It was such a gorgeous mental picture. I love MB. She is an amazing woman who loves God and desires to serve. She laughs a lot as well. MB has been such a blessing to me on this trip.
One evening as I was heading to bed I saw a huge black spider crawl under my bed, there was no way I was going to sleep with that thing alive underneath me. I begged the boys to come and kill it. They did….well, sorta. Josh thought it would be funny to throw the Kleenex with the “dead” spider at me. The spider wasn’t dead….I was pissed. Ha! The guys love teasing me, not sure why guys always tease me but they do.

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Happy Father's Day, Dad!

I was sad that I missed Father’s Day.

I love my dad. He is an amazing guy. He is loving and compassionate towards everyone. He is extremely wise and is great at giving advice. My dad is a servant, a true example of Christ. I trust and respect my dad a ton. I wished I could’ve been home to celebrate but I couldn’t. I miss my dad.

I could go on forever talking about my dad, he knows everything and I am so lucky to have him as my father. If you don't know him all I can say is that you're missing out.

This is sad that this is the only pic of me and my dad
(that I have)....I love this man beyond belief!

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Home

We are finally back in Ewaso Ng'iro, we spent the past week in Talek working in a medical clinic. We were supposed to help out with water projects this past week but plans changed. I don't mind though, I enjoy the medical scene.

The team plus the medical staff after

our week's work in Talek

The place we stayed at in Talek was challenging. The bathroom was a square hole in the ground-I squatted and aimed. Ha! I am getting more and more used to bucket baths but they are not as nice as showers. I smell out here, big time. My hair is greasy and my face is breaking out with acne, wonderful! Not really. I guess sacrifice has to be made when helping people out but I really like being clean and looking nice. I don't. Oh well. I am so grateful to be back in Ewaso Ng'iro: I have an outhouse with a seat that I can sit on. I have a mirror. I have my own room. I can make my own food instead of eating goat stew every day. Thank goodness for being home!

It was a 2 1/2 hour drive from Talek back to Ewaso Ng'iro, me and MB both felt really sick. The pot-holes did not help us any. We both got sick right when we got home, we slept 10 hours and feel much better.

Today we are spending our time in Narok doing some grocery shopping and catching up with people via internet. It feels good to be on a computer.

This bite ended up staying with me
for the duration of my stay in Kenya,
and is now a nice scar on my leg. Lovely! 

Another bit of information...I was bit by what we think was a Nairobi fly? It left a blister with swelling surrounding it. It feels like I burned myself and has been a little uncomfortable. I have put antibiotic ointment on it but it has done nothing so far. I had one of the Indiana doctors look at it and since it hadn't gone away in the week he ended up giving me antibiotics for it. I've been antibiotics for around 3 days now and it doesn't seem like it is working as well. I hope it will go away soon.

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Baby Delivery

6-16-10

Me and the little baby. I was so excited to be
present for this delivery

We spent another day at the clinic but today the team from Indiana was not present. It was us and the nationals who run the clinics. It was a slow day. Kinda boring. At the end of the day me and my team were exploring the hospital when all of a sudden a woman came in with a ton of women helping her, some of the team was confused as to what was happening but I knew exactly what was going on. I was going to see a delivery-how exciting! The woman laid down on a bed and pushed once and out came a beautiful little boy. The doctor just left the baby at the end of the bed crying while he was going to pull out the placenta, what the heck? Don't they clear the baby's mouth/lungs first? Blood test? height or weight? Nope. I couldn't stand to see the child cry at the end of the bed so I asked if I could hold the baby while he was finishing up with the mother. The mother and doctor consented, so I was able to wipe down the infant and hold him. It was an amazing experience but was rather horrified as to how the mother gave birth. She was not taken care of whatsoever, or her child for that matter.

I got into a long discussion with my team later that evening about what we saw. Maybe the clinic doesn't have the funds or the right equipment for deliveries but something has to be done about it, right? There were no sheets on the bed, no pillow, no gown for the mother to change into. Heck, there were no blankets for the baby to be wrapped in. The mother sat in her own blood and bodily fluids. Was this a normal birth? Yep. Since the mother had no complications while giving birth she would be sent back to her village later on in the evening, ridiculous! I am so impressed with these women here. I could never do it. I never want to give birth Kenyan style. Never.

I am still frustrated by what I saw and I believe change needs to happen. My team saw what I was saying but we had different views, someone said, "There are many things that the clinic could change but we need to be proud of what they have accomplished-do we want it to be more like the states?" No! Of course not, I just mentioned one aspect of the clinic that I didn't like and people started disagreeing with me. Someone else said, "Change doesn't happen overnight, Anna, it's a process..." I know it is but who starts the change? We saw a birth and didn't like the way things were done. Who makes the first move in making a change? Are we gonna wait to get things accomplished? I hope not. I see the positive in things but I also see the negative. When I see negative aspects I see the chance for change, a chance for improvement.
Luckily, I was able to chat with the two doctors from IN and told them of the delivery. They thought it would be a good idea to implement a delivery and neonatal class when they come back in October, thank goodness! I made one move but I feel there is more for me to do with this....will I be able to come back with this team in October to implement this informative class? How can I get my hands on hospital gowns, sheets and baby blankets? I'm looking into it. :-)

I'm still upset by what I saw. Women are not cared for enough out here. It makes me sad.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Mahatma Gandhi

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Serving

6-15-10

Me and MB counting various pills

Another day at the clinic, today we saw 160 patients! I was working in the pharmacy again but also shadowed one of the doctors from Indiana. We saw patients with Malaria, Brucellosis, Syphilis, HIV, Yellow Fever, and many parasites and common colds. One of my favorite patients was a boy who was 15. He was out herding his cattle when he stepped on a sharp stick and it went in between his big and second toe. It had been 4 days since the accident, the wound was deep. It smelled. We cleaned it and put a dressing on it and told him to keep off of it as much as possible. The poor kid could barely walk.

Children waiting to see the Doctors

I really enjoyed shadowing Doctor Peter. He is in residency at a hospital in IN. He is married and has 2 little kids. He worked great with the patients that came through-a very kind, compassionate and loving person. I've had a hard time with the men around here and well, seeing Peter serving and interacting with the people made me happy! As MB put it, "God placed someone in your path who helped you re-knew your faith in men-yay!" Thank goodness for men who are leaders and doers.

"When you say a situation or a person is hopeless, you're slamming the door in the face of God." -Charles C. Allen

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Mobile Medical Clinic

6-14-10

This morning our team split up, me and Josh went to help a medical team from Indiana go to a school and set up a mobile clinic. I started out as a pharmacist and have been counting pills galore! The second half the day I was testing patients for HIV. I prefer the hands-on working with patients. We saw around 107 patients, mainly women and children.

Mobile Clinic: Kids waiting outside

During our lunch break our team was invited to a nearby village. The village was celebrating a fertility ceremony. There were around 100 women present from the ages of 14 on up. They were all dressed in traditional clothing with an animal hide as a covering. The women were adorned with beautiful necklaces and bracelets. The women went into a hut to get their faces painted with a rustic orange paint, once they were painted they formed into a large circle. They started singing and dancing, waiting for their turn to be blessed by the men in the community. Once each woman was blessed she went straight to her home, if she stopped to greet anyone she would lose her blessing. At midnight the fertility blessing would begin (lots of baby making tonight...). One of the guys told me he better not see me in the middle of the ceremony, ha! I told him he didn't need to worry about me one bit. :-)

Mobile Clinic: We had a system set up-patients
would stop by each station.

It was a neat experience to be present since the fertility blessing ceremony only occurs every 5-10 years depending....on what? I'm not sure. I just can't imagine being 14 and asking God for babies, wow!

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A Life of Faith

Thoughts and notes from a sermon:
6-6-10
The church had so much diversity, I loved it! The message the pastor gave was really powerful- We read from Genesis 22 and the pastor spoke on Abraham, how he believed and followed God out of obedience. He went on to say how God uses trials and temptations to evaluate our spiritual growth. As God tested Abraham so He does with each of us, "Our faith is not really tested until God asks us to bear what seems unbearable, and expect what seems impossible."
I question God a lot. I want explanations of where He is leading me or what I'll be doing, or why a certain experience happened to me. Yet, God's best interests and purposes don't exist to make me happy, they are not founded on my needs. God's commitments are first to His Kingdom and not my desires. Wow! So much of the time I feel/want myself to be the center of God's plan, but it isn't. I want attention. I want the world to revolve around me but it can't. It won't. I need to learn to live by God's promises and not by explanations. "God's will never contradicts His promises."
When God told Abraham to sacrifice his son, Issac, Abraham was being tested. He had no clue what the outcome would be but he obeyed God. In James 2 it discusses how true faith is always proved by obedience. Abraham had faith. "God did not want Isaac's life, He wanted Abraham's heart." How many times does God put us through trials and testing only to have us become totally surrendered to His will? I have such a hard time during testing, why is it such a struggle? I hate releasing control.
"When it feels like everything has been taken away was it snatched from us or did we withhold nothing?" "God has withhold nothing from me, what am I withholding from Him?" I don't want to withhold anything from Him but I know I do. God doesn't owe me anything, I am in-debted to Him. I pray that I will be able to live a surrendered life for Him. I don't want to continually live my life for myself.

I look toward the cross
Where my Savior died
Suffered in my place
The perfect sacrifice
For me so I can know

Now I am forgiven
I have been set free
Through the blood of Jesus
I have been made clean
Now I know His mercy
Because He died for me
I have been redeemed

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