Frustration Beyond Belief

Journal Entry: 6-11-10

What am I doing here? I'm in Africa and I feel like I'm doing nothing. I don't really want to be around people, I've been escaping to my room. This isn't me. It sucks. Why am I afraid? Why can't I love these people? I am rather discouraged. I want to be comfortable here but I feel out of my element.
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith, so as to remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
I don't want to leave Africa without loving the people here. I need to search for ways to love. I need courage.
"And like our Savior, who poured out His life and blood so we have reason to rejoice, we were made to lay down our lives and give until it hurts." -Francis Chan
My desire is to lay down my life and give until it hurts. Let me follow You, all the days of my life.