A Life of Faith

Thoughts and notes from a sermon:
6-6-10
The church had so much diversity, I loved it! The message the pastor gave was really powerful- We read from Genesis 22 and the pastor spoke on Abraham, how he believed and followed God out of obedience. He went on to say how God uses trials and temptations to evaluate our spiritual growth. As God tested Abraham so He does with each of us, "Our faith is not really tested until God asks us to bear what seems unbearable, and expect what seems impossible."
I question God a lot. I want explanations of where He is leading me or what I'll be doing, or why a certain experience happened to me. Yet, God's best interests and purposes don't exist to make me happy, they are not founded on my needs. God's commitments are first to His Kingdom and not my desires. Wow! So much of the time I feel/want myself to be the center of God's plan, but it isn't. I want attention. I want the world to revolve around me but it can't. It won't. I need to learn to live by God's promises and not by explanations. "God's will never contradicts His promises."
When God told Abraham to sacrifice his son, Issac, Abraham was being tested. He had no clue what the outcome would be but he obeyed God. In James 2 it discusses how true faith is always proved by obedience. Abraham had faith. "God did not want Isaac's life, He wanted Abraham's heart." How many times does God put us through trials and testing only to have us become totally surrendered to His will? I have such a hard time during testing, why is it such a struggle? I hate releasing control.
"When it feels like everything has been taken away was it snatched from us or did we withhold nothing?" "God has withhold nothing from me, what am I withholding from Him?" I don't want to withhold anything from Him but I know I do. God doesn't owe me anything, I am in-debted to Him. I pray that I will be able to live a surrendered life for Him. I don't want to continually live my life for myself.

I look toward the cross
Where my Savior died
Suffered in my place
The perfect sacrifice
For me so I can know

Now I am forgiven
I have been set free
Through the blood of Jesus
I have been made clean
Now I know His mercy
Because He died for me
I have been redeemed